Hey Folks!
Mama decided to let her beloved Flat Coat Retriever, Bear, paw today's blog post; hence the use of "hunter" and not "huntress". Of course, Mama does not expect Bear to use antiquated words like, "huntress", "actress", "stewardess", etc. because the ACLU, Gloria Steinem, and Webster's Online Dictionary would be on his butt in a New York minute.
Anyway, the following story is in Beardog-speak typed by Bear himself with a few dog treats to get him the hell out of Mama's way so she can type it in properly. For those of you who are uninformed: Mama received her Master's degree in "Barkologie" and is currently in the field working on her "Siamese" skills.
BARK, BARK BARK BARK, BARK, BARK
Bark bark woof woof woof arf arf bark bark bark. Woof woof woof woof arf, bark bark bark bark arf woof.
Ruff ruff woof woof arf bark. Bark woof ruff ruff arf woof. Bark woof ruff ruff ruff arf bark arf. Ah-oooo-oooo-oooo! <sniff sniff sniff, snuffle>. Bark bark bark woof. <sitting and whining>. Arf arf arf, ruff, ruff, <wags tail and scratches front door to go outside and claims bragging rights>
Mama's translation: "Mama musta gone huntin' today cuz when she got back she took out a big 'ole beef flavored rawhide bone. I'm lickin' my chops cuz it shore smells good and I know it's fer me cuz no one else will eat it, 'specially after I slobber on it. Mama tells me to sit and I do to get the 'ole bag off my case; plus, the quicker I do what she says the quicker I get that damn bone. Oh, man, she's handin' it over to me. I do owe her some credit for trackin' this big guy down and bringing his leg bone to me. I'm runnin' towards the front door where I've put my big dog nails grooves in it cuz I'm so excited I can't wait to show the neighborhood what my Mama gave me. Watch out, bitches, I've got a bone to gnaw on. Life shore is good!"
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